DREAMS & GOALS

Are your dreams & goals your own?    

External motivation is the weakest motivation. It is motivation that comes from others to you. It is the motivation that comes from others pushing you and not you pushing yourself. It is motivation that is driven by external reward or punishments. External motivation is your husband or wife telling or asking you to lose weight. External motivation is your parents making you go to college. External motivation is your boss demanding you attend a meeting you'd rather skip. External motivation is forced and is not altruistic.

Most dreams and goals driven by external motivators are not reached. They are not reached because they are not your own. You did not initiate them. A dream must be your dream or it stands the grave likelihood that it will not be reached and Champions reach their goals.  Be a Champion!

MIRACLE

Ever been told you can't?  Well, you CAN!

When you’re told, "it can't be done" or "there’s no way you can do it", that’s when you step up to Champion level. When there seems to be no way; you make a way. You don't listen to those that are doubters or unbelievers. You make them watch you accomplish the task at hand. Being unstoppable, you don’t think like those people. You don’t think limits, barely good enough, or can't do it. You step up and get it done; no questions asked. Notice the true Champions, those that are Champions for years. They don't do a lot of talking. They aren't the ones trying to fire everyone up. They are the ones that just do the work and move on. They don’t bring attention to themselves with their words as much as with their positive winning actions. You are in the miracle delivering business in whatever it is you do. Be the difference in someone’s life today and you will be a Champion. Be relentless in making the lives of others better. Are you ready to deliver a miracle today? 

LET GO

To "let go" does not mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else.

To "let go" is not to cut myself off, it's the realization I can't control another.

To "let go" is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To "let go" is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another, it's to make the most of myself.

To "let go" is not to care for, but to care about.

To "let go" is not to fix, but to be supportive.

To "let go" is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.

To "let go" is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own destinies.

To "let go" is not to be protective, it's to permit another to face reality.

To "let go" is not to deny, but to accept.

To "let go" is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.

To "let go" is not to adjust everything to my desires but to take each day as it comes, and cherish myself in it.

To "let go" is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.

To "let go" is to fear less and love more.

MENTALLY TOUGH

5 Things Mentally Tough People Don't Do

1) They don't feel sorry for themselves

They understand that complaining doesn't make the situation better.

They know that people won't treat them the way they want to be treated, circumstances might not be ideal, and they will experience adversity; however, rather than complain about the negative aspects of their situation, they focus on what they want to happen and what they're going to do about it.

2) They don’t give people power over them

They are not people pleasers.

They are relentless in their pursuit of their passion and aren't worried about what other people think.

They give power to what they focus on, and if they waste their time focusing on the opinions of others, they lose sight of the things that will make them truly successful.

3) They don’t avoid change

They are always looking for ways to evolve. They believe that if they continue to give their best, their best will continue to get better over time.

With the competition continuing to get stronger, and smarter; it’s important to have the mindset to improve by learning from successes and failures.

4) They don't play small

The mentally tough swing for the fences and know that it might mean striking out a few times (or many times). Their purpose for achieving greatness casts away their fear of failure. They refuse to tip-toe through life, they intend on creating a legacy for the future by making an impact in the here-and-now.

5) They don't focus on things they can't control

They refuse to waste time focusing on things they can't control because there is nothing they can do about it! Control the controllables! They understand that the less control a person feels the more susceptible they are to making poor decisions, falling into bad habits, and crumbling under pressure.

LEVEL UP

Your strategy is to make everyone else get on your level; you're not going down to theirs.

As a Champion you are always wanting to bring others up. However, there will be those that want you to come down to theirs. Not everyone will go to the next level. They will try to convince you to settle where they are at. This is not you though. You are unstoppable, there is no settling in you. A Champion is never complacent with where they are in life. You will help others to come up to your level though. As you are working in your purpose take time to bring others up to your level. A Champion never settles. Being unstoppable means you are always looking for ways to get better and to help those around you. Don't allow those that don’t want to be the best discourage you from being your best. Being a Champion is a special thing. Don't take it for granted...EVER. Everyone has the ability but so few go to that level. You are one that will go to that level and keep on going. Are you bringing others up to your level today?

SELF COMPASSION

Be kind to yourself

Sometimes a lack of motivation really means you need a rest. If you've been working too hard, have a real illness, or have been dealing with emotional distress, it’s perfectly normal to lose motivation and energy. Sometimes the very best thing you can do is give yourself a mental health day — without guilt or shame. This should be a conscious choice based on self-awareness — not a belly-up response to feeling bad about yourself.

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Motivation, like so many other feelings, is fleeting and mercurial. Sometimes you can manufacture it, but often it comes and goes of its own accord. Rather than rely on motivation to determine your behavior, decide how you want to behave and invite motivation to catch up. With or without it, you are capable of accomplishing great things.

FAILURE

Failure is great. Fear of failure is a complete waste of time. 

I've had it with fear of failure. I am weary of thoughts of failure, anticipation of failure, worries of failure and they have nothing to do with failure itself. Failure itself has been really good to me in life. In hindsight, of course – I was never that smart when it first knocked me off my feet. Failure taught me whom to trust. Failure showed me the true colors of friends. Failure proved what I am not willing to give up in life. Failure brought my values to light. Failure opened doors which always led to better success. Failure connected me with better opportunities, brighter outcomes and greater results. You see, failure has been so good to me and I bet it’s been really good to you too. Fear of failure on the other hand has been nothing but a waste of precious time. Enough already! So you fail. Great. You tried something. You learned something. You risked something. In fact, who are you not to fail? Whoever achieved greatness without it?

Fail. Fail again. Fail often. Fail shamelessly and proudly. Fail until you get it out of the way so you make room for nothing but success. Success on your terms, in your words, by your definition.

MENTAL CONDITIONING

Being a Champion is being feared and respected for your mental strength and toughness.

The higher you go in whatever you do, everyone around you is talented. However, the major difference comes in the form of mental toughness. Whoever has prepared mentally has the edge, the advantage. Mental conditioning is a must if you are going to be a Champion. People take it for granted how important their mental training is. It is not an add-on or an extra. It is part of the process. A huge part of the process. If you aren’t working on your mental game today, then I encourage you to start. Don’t come up short in your destiny because you didn't prepare mentally. Train your mind to be unstoppable. When your body is wanting to quit, your mind says we are just getting started. Be relentless mentally and you will be unstoppable in whatever it is you strive to do. Your mind is what will enable you to be a Champion or keep you from being one. Are you training your mind today?

HOPE

When things get difficult, it’s easy to want to give up.

It’s easy to get down and discouraged. But, that’s not God’s plan for us. God wants us to be so full of hope, so full of expectancy that we just can't help believing for the best. He wants us to be prisoners of hope! When you're a prisoner of something, it’s like you're chained to it. In other words, you can’t get away from it. I know people that are prisoners of fear, prisoners of worry, prisoners of doubt. You've heard them. “Nothing good ever happens to me.” “It’s never going to change. It’s just been too long.” No, you're chained to the wrong thing. You need to break those chains and become a prisoner of hope. That means that no matter how long it’s taking, no matter how impossible it looks, our attitude should be, “I just can't help it. I know it’s going to work out. I know I'm going to overcome. It may be taking a long time, but I know this too shall pass. It may be difficult, but I know that means I'm closer to my victory because I am a prisoner of hope!” Are you a prisoner of hope today?

ATTITUDE

For better or worse, your attitude affects your performance. 

Your attitude has a profound impact on the way you lead people.  It affects the way you sell and the way you serve customers.  Your attitude has a direct impact on how you communicate and collaborate with others, how you contribute to the culture of your work environment, and how you perform your daily tasks and responsibilities.  Ultimately, your attitude shapes your success and your happiness.  Other things being equal, the person with the best attitude will win.  Other things not being equal, the person with the best attitude usually still wins!  Unfortunately, many people cling to beliefs and attitudes that restrict rather than empower their performance. The reality is that you determine your attitude.  Your attitude is one of the few things in life over which you have total control.  Harvard psychologist Williams James: “The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind.”   If you want to perform at your best, and if you want to maximize your happiness and fulfillment, then you must take control of the life-shaping power of your attitude.  

Please understand: developing and sustaining a positive attitude is not merely a quick-fix motivational technique. It is a disciplined skill that must be practiced and learned. 

COMPETE

You’re not competing with anyone else, ever again. They’re going to have to compete against you.

Being a Champion means raising the standard and never stop raising it. You are the one who others are measuring up against. You set the bar. You don’t compare yourself to anyone else. You are the one that others compare themselves to. This means that you never settle again. It means you never give up. You make the rules that others follow. Being unstoppable is not easy but nothing worth doing is easy. You are relentless in what you do. You will never regret the work that you put into being a Champion. You have what it takes to be the best. Don’t back away now. You were created to be the difference in peoples’ lives. Are you ready to be great?

MOTIVATED TO ACHIEVE

An individual's relative motive strength does not exist in a vacuum, but is associated with an elaborate matrix of beliefs that justify the commitment of intense effort toward goal achievement, or the relative lack thereof. The core beliefs that differentiate achievement motivated individuals are:

1. Success is your personal responsibility

Achievement motivated individuals tend to believe that initiative, effort, and persistence are key determinants of success at demanding tasks. Failure-avoiding individuals are more likely to view success as dependent on available resources and situational constraints (e.g. the task is too hard, or the marker was biased).

2. Demanding tasks are opportunities

Achievement motivated individuals tend to see demanding tasks where success is uncertain as ‘challenges' or ‘opportunities'. Failure avoiding individuals are more likely to see them as ‘threats' that may lead to the embarrassment of failure. An achievement motivated individual might tell a failure avoiding individual, "Anything worthwhile is difficult, so stop acting so surprised".

3. Achievement striving is enjoyable

Achievement motivated individual’s associate effort on demanding tasks with dedication, concentration, commitment and involvement. Failure-avoiding individuals categorize such effort as overloading or stressful. They see perseverance in the face of setbacks and obstacles as slightly compulsive.

4. Achievement striving is valuable

Achievement motivated individual’s value hard work in and of itself. Failure-avoiding individuals may mock achievement striving as uncool (e.g. the attitude that the L on learner plates stands for Loser). They may associate achievement striving with lack of a social life or even early death by heart attack.

5. Skills can be improved

Achievement-motivated individuals have a strong belief that they can improve their performance on demanding tasks with practice, training, coaching, and dedication to learning. Failure-avoiding individuals tend to see skills as fixed and/or dependent on innate talents.

6. Persistence works

Achievement motivated individuals are inclined to believe that continued effort and commitment will overcome initial obstacles or failures. Failure-avoiding individuals are inclined to see initial failure as a sign of things to come. So the achievement motivated individual says, "Don't assume that you can't do something until you've tried. And I mean really tried, like tried 3000 times, not that you tried three times, and 'oh I give up.' And the failure-avoiding individual responds, "You really need to learn when to quit."



The beliefs held by achievement-motivated individuals are not necessarily more logical or objectively correct than the beliefs held by failure-avoiding individuals, certainly not in all situations. However, they are empirically associated with high levels of achievement.  Once you understand the modes of achievement motivated versus failure-avoiding thinking, you will recognize them in the way that others talk about their goals, dreams, successes, and setbacks. You will also recognize them in your own thinking, and you can choose to cultivate the beliefs that will support you to achieve your goals. This is more effective than just trying to think positive and relying on the law of attraction to provide you with what you want.  How do you know when you might be overdoing the achievement motivated thinking a bit, to the point of being unrealistic and not acting in your own best interests?

NO LIMIT

You become unstoppable–by placing no limits on yourself.

I believe in having boundaries. I don’t believe in having limits. People put a lid on how high they can go in life. To be a Champion you have to take the limits, the lid off. You may have allowed other people in your past to put limits on you. Never allow other's opinion of you to hold you down. You have greatness inside you, no matter your past. Overcome the mistakes of your past and go higher. There are many that place limits on themselves. Refresh and refocus your mind on your purpose and destiny. It is time for you to take your place in life. It is time that you start to be the difference you were born to be. Remove the limits that have been placed on your life. You can rise to the highest level. You can be unstoppable. It is your decision to make. I encourage you today to be a Champion. Have you taken the limits off of your life today?

RESPECT

The Value of Respect

One of the most important things you can teach your child is respect.  The best way to teach respect is to show respect.  When a child experiences respect, they know what it feels like and begins to understand how important it is.

The value of self-respect may be something we take for granted.   We may discover how very important it is when our self-respect is threatened, or we lose it and have to work to regain it, or struggle to develop or maintain it in a very difficult environment.  Some people find that finally being able to respect themselves is what matters most by kicking a disgusting habit, or defending something that they value.  It is part of everyday wisdom that respect and self-respect are deeply connected.  It is difficult, if not impossible to respect others if we don’t respect ourselves and to respect ourselves if others don’t respect us.

Respect is an attitude.  If children don’t have respect for peers, authority, or themselves, it is almost impossible for them to succeed.

Lead by example.

For children, it’s easier to fully embrace an idea if they see someone else utilizing that idea positively.  If you respect the people around you and children see that, it will inspire them.  It gives them actual examples of a respectful give-and-take that happens between people.

Live by the Golden Rule

Treat others the way you want to be treated. When communicating with each other, parents and teens need to avoid signs of disrespect like yelling, using a nasty tone of voice and demonstrating defensive body language.

Listening is vital

Parents and children need to be free to share their thoughts and feelings and feel like they’re being heard.  To disagree is acceptable; to demean is not.   Teens need their space.  Privacy is important to teens.  Parents should respect their teen’s privacy, but they do have the authority to check their child’s cell phone, computer or room if they think their teen is in danger or is involved in immoral, illegal or dangerous activities.  Parents must look out for the well being of their child or children at all times, that is their responsibility.

Learning self-respect is guided by how we see ourselves.  The people in our lives act as a mirror in this process.  When people who are important to us give us attention and encouragement, we see positive images of ourselves.  At other times, our interactions with others may make us feel unattractive, incompetent, or even invisible.  Young children build their sense of self-respect from their interactions with others.  When they are made to feel special and valued, children grow to respect themselves.  A positive sense of one’s self allows the maturing child to respect others.

Self-respect is at the heart of respecting others. When you can identify and appreciate your strengths and accept your vulnerabilities, it’s easier to truly respect the value in others.  Everybody has strengths...focus on those!

#strengthrevolution

I have been inspired by the works and philosophies of 2 innovators in leadership.  First, Marcus Buckingham, who developed the strength revolution and Jenifer Fox, who ran with Marcus' ideas and extrapolated them to the classroom.  These 2 books are great reads.  I truly recommend them if you want to change the way you lead!

INSPIRATION

Who INSPIRES you?

As I began working at the University of Wisconsin-Parkside, I have had the pleasure of being a part of a #realamazing team that has done nothing short of inspiring me professionally.  I have always prided myself on being a motivator of sorts but there is nothing more motivating and inspirational than surrounding yourself with people that understand the value of hard work and accountability. Maggie Lawler is a recent graduate that has been hired on at UWP and she is the perfect example of why I am so inspired to create an atmosphere of positive mental condition at Parkside.  Below is an example of Maggie's writing and better explains the right mental condition for a successful team member.  Being a part of a successful team means you are reflective in your own actions and accountability. Thank you Maggie.  You INSPIRE me!

CELEBRATE YOU

C-  cherish
E-  enthusiasm
L-  live with passion
E-  excitement
B-  belief
R-  rejoice
A-  attitude and action
T-  time
I-   imagination
O- opportunity
N-  now





Cherish - your life, your loved ones, your work. My dictionary defines cherish as "to hold dear to you." There are so many things in our lives to cherish. What might it be for you? If you answer, nothing, then ask yourself "what could it be, if you wanted to?" The more we cherish in our lives, the more cherished our lives will be.

Enthusiasm - So many people go through each day in a state of trance. If you don't believe me, just stand outside a large office building on Monday morning, and you'll see the expression I mean. What would our lives be like if we brought the same kind of enthusiasm that we bring to a football game into all areas of our lives...especially to the classroom?

Live with passion / Excitement - Have you ever noticed that many of the sensations that are part of excitement (rapid heartbeat, sweaty palms, feeling "pumped up") are also the same sensations that go along with fear? How might your life be different if you turned your fear into excitement?

Belief - Just about every major religion in the world talks about the power of belief. It was Jesus Christ who said "if you have belief the size of a mustard seed, you can say to that mountain, move, and it shall be moved." The power of belief allows us to move the mountains in our lives.

Rejoice - Exactly what does it mean to rejoice? Back to the dictionary again: mine defines rejoice as "to feel or express joy or gladness, to exult." A rejoicing soul is a happy soul.

Attitude and Action - It's been said that "your attitude determines your altitude." While that may be true in part, attitude is worthless unless it's followed by action.

Time - We are all familiar with the old saying "time heals all wounds." Sorry, I don't buy it. Time is neutral, it merely passes. It's what we do with our time that makes the difference between mediocrity and a life well lived.

Imagination - Do you use yours? Or have you set it aside? The power of imagination is at the root of every great change and achievement.

Opportunity - When we focus on what is wrong in our lives, we tend to miss the opportunities that come our way. When we are celebrating our lives, we are focusing on what works, and then are able to see the multitude of opportunities that come our way each day.

Now - Celebrate now. Not next year, not when you are out of school, not when you get that new job or are making more money. Celebrate now. No one, not a one of us, is promised next year or even tomorrow. Celebrate now.

10 THINGS CHAMPIONS KNOW

THE TOP TEN THINGS CHAMPIONS KNOW THAT YOU DON'T

1. Acting Changes Everything (ACE)

The ACE card that they have up their sleeve is a key weapon in the world champion’s toolbox. What does ACE stand for? ACE stands for Acting Changes Everything. Those athletes understand that they're not athletes, they're actors. See number two.

2. Force Yourself to Act Different Than How You Feel

It is a lot easier to act yourself into feeling than it is to wait around and feel yourself into action. So if you are not confident, that is OK, just act confident, if you are scared, that is OK, just act as if you are not scared. The Karelian Bear Dog chases the grizzly bear not because he's bigger or stronger, but because he believes he's bigger and stronger.

3. Losing Is Not an Option

World champions know that losing is not an option, it’s essential. In order for you to become a world champion, you're going to lose. You're going to lose because you're competing against the best of the best. And when you get higher and higher in levels of competition, talent and physical skill means less and less because everyone has got it. It's inevitable that we'll eventually lose so know how you should respond when it happens. Learn from it and leave it. Failure is positive feedback.

4. Confidence Is a Choice

Being a champion is also about learning how to respond when you are faced with adversity and how to respond when you don’t feel good. Do you respond with confidence? Remember confidence is a choice. You see, champions don't wake up one day and say, “Mmm, well the sun and the moon and the stars are all lined up today, so I will be confident”. It doesn't work that way with champions.

Champions make the choice every day to jump out of bed and be confident. They know their 'ABCs' are to 'Always Behave Confidently' because confidence is a choice.

5. What Will Other People Say? What Will Other People Think?

There are ten deadly words that if you say them or believe them you will crush your performance. If you're trying to be excellent, if you're trying to get to the top of your field, if you listen to these ten deadly words, you are going to sabotage your career. Those ten deadly words are, “What will other people say? What will other people think?” It doesn't matter what other people say. It doesn't matter what other people think. In your pursuit of excellence, people are going to try and pull you down and talk trash about you because you are better than they are. When people stab you in the back or say things about you behind your back it is because you are in front of them. Be more concerned with your character, what you know is true than what other people say or think about you.

6. Champions Are Made, They're Not Born

Very few people are truly committed to the pursuit of excellence. Get used to looking yourself in the mirror, and answering to yourself. Because every night, when that head hits the pillow, that’s the person you're going to answer to. Other people are going to tell you, you can't do it. That you're not big enough, fast enough or strong enough. Or even worse, you may be surrounded by a bunch of yes people who tell you that you're the best when you are really quite average. You just can't listen because champions know it doesn't matter what people think because champions are made – they're developed - they're not born, and ANYONE can be a champion if they are committed to excellence and follow the fundamentals.

7. Motivation Is a Daily Decision

To stay motivated, you've got to surround yourself with things that motivate you. Do you have a vision board posted in your office, room, car or locker that shows you what you want to accomplish?

Consider this advertising to yourself. Coke and Pepsi are the two most famous soft drinks and that is largely due to the fact that they saturate the market and your head with advertising. You want to advertise to yourself on a daily basis with vision boards, photos of your next opponent, quotes or goals written on your bathroom mirror with a dry erase marker and by reading a little or a lot from good books.

8. Your Time Is Now

Your time is the present moment. 1984 Olympic gold medal winning Team USA Hockey Coach Herb Brooks said it best in the great movie; 'Miracle' when he said “Your time is now.” The time is now, the place is here. Your career is the sum of your todays. The only factor that is the same amongst all baseball coaches in the world is that they have 86,000 seconds in a day to either spend or INVEST in the development of their potential. Maximize your time management and priority management skills and you will get the most out of your days.

9. Stop Counting Down the Days and Start Making Those Days Count

World champions also know that you don't count the days till the next fight, but make the days count. They set long term goals of where they want to be at the end of the year, but commit 100% to the day’s goal, to the here and now. They realize that yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift that’s why we call it the present. They live for today and get the most out of today because they know their career and life will be the sum of their todays.

10. What's Important Now?

Right now today. What are you going to do today to get better? What is your goal for today? Do you see a pattern developing here? Throughout each day there are going to be distractions, fish hooks that rip you out of the water while you are searching for your goals. When you get side tracked, get off the wrong exit on your way to work, realize that you must get back in the moment. That winning is an end result that takes care of itself if you win the moment, you win the moment by remembering what’s important now!

The BONUS eleventh thing that world champions know that you don't is the Opponent Is You. Your toughest opponent in life will be to master yourself. And once you become a master of the mental game, you give yourself the best chance to become a champion.

ADVERSITY

Adversity and success are neighbors on the way to becoming a Champion, you need both in your life.  

The best advice you will ever get to be a Champion, to be unstoppable is to never, ever give up . When facing adversity, know that success is right around the corner. All you have to do is keep on keepin' on. Stick to your process. Don't allow negative thoughts to stay in your mind. You may be going through the toughest time of your life, but don’t give up. You may be dealing with the worse adversity you have ever faced, but don't quit today. You are not alone in your struggles. We all may have gotten here in different boats, but we are in the same ship now. To be a Champion, to be relentless, we need one another. Never try to do make it by yourself. I encourage you today, to stay the course. You are closer than you think you are right now. 

Are you dealing with adversity today?  Be the Champion that you were created to be!